Monday, June 25, 2012

my sweet two-year-old
turned three, and is suddenly
a fucking madman
it's not easy to
pick your nose and play tennis
but it can be done

Sunday, April 1, 2012

crying, belly hurts
x-ray shows poop, lots of poop
kid is full of shit

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

she was mad at me
so she sang from the front steps
'bad mama for sale'

Saturday, March 24, 2012

sometimes I listen
to Yo Gabba Gabba tunes
when the kids aren't here

Sunday, March 11, 2012

no more apple juice
now he can't poop; there's only
the wind off the turd

Monday, February 27, 2012

a lovely cupcake
with bright blue frosting will yield
electric green poo

Friday, February 17, 2012

farted at the gym
i thought it would be silent
alas, it was not

Thursday, February 16, 2012

cruisin' through the 'burbs
my minivan freshly washed
aw yeah, dope as hell

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

boy climbed in my bed
for a snuggle this morning
then gagged, morning breath

Monday, February 13, 2012

stumbling as I fall
from grace; who knew that marriage
could be so damn hard

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

my hands, once angel soft
and smooth are now those of a
salty old sea hag

Monday, January 30, 2012

the boy eats only
clementines, and so his poo
is orange and shreddy
four year old said 'fuck'
i just have to wonder where
the fuck she heard that?

Friday, January 20, 2012

I have been seduced
by throwback packaging on
a bag of Cheetos
boy's got pneumonia
the amount of meds he needs
just makes my head swim

Friday, January 13, 2012

poop in underwear
is infinitely more gross
than poop in diaper

Thursday, January 12, 2012

i once had nice boobs
round and ripe for the pickin'
now they're socks with rocks
what the fuck happened
we used to be cool, and now?
a disney cruise awaits

Friday, January 6, 2012

I sit there peeing
Mama, keep your wiener down
he says. Kid's confused.